Chomp. Bleurgh.

I'm kinda used to starting off with a peppy raison d'etre with each bile-encrusted nugget of pessimism I spawn here - but I won't. It's late in the day perhaps (and i'm speaking figuratively here, although, as usual, it's literally true as well) to note this, but CHRIST, isn't John Prescott just... an utter failure? Let's clarify things first and foremost though: i'm not speaking of *insert incisive political trivia here* or even, dare I say it, *insert egg-related public tits-up* but just that, well... what an utterly shit bulimic. I mean really, come on. Seeing the wave of blubbering sympathy for his flabby-jowled confession, it made ME want to be sick. On him.

To be honest though, it's not his almost-comical incompetence and penchant for fast cars and being sick that irritates me; nor is it the electrified macaw he continually parades as his wife. No. What annoys me is the uproar of saccharine bullshit from everyone just because he admitted he's bulimic. 'Prescott braves bulimia!' Hooray for little quiver-lipped Johnnykins! SO bwave! Why brave? He gave in to a last ditch charm-offensive to try and sway public opinion? It's not like i'm shocked by the audacity or anything, just massively amused. I mean C'MAAAN, if you're gonna do something, at least do it properly Prezza: jam those pudgy little sausage-digits right down that greasy gullet and do it like a man! Or, more realistically, do it like an alienated 14 year old girl with a warped sense of self-worth, that's the spirit! Chuck yer guts you fat shit!

Look at him though, what a decidedly rubbish bulimic. Failed as a politician, failed as a bloke who tries to throw up to get slim. I just don't see how others miss the HIlarious irony. It's about equivalent to Stalin, with a grave and trembling face, admitting that some nasty girls were shouting names at him and made him drop his ice-lolly, or Genghis Khan whinging to his mum that horsies give him the sniffles. I'd almost give him credit if he managed to lose weight - although maybe he did and I didn't notice, it's a bit of a deck chair thrown off the Titanic scenario - but it's like those people that repeatedly fail at suicide: their failure to top it off in any kind of grand way just proves their reasoning for doing it right all along. I can't help but wish they'd stop dithering about with uncertain methods, cramming dog deworming tablets and passing out in the bath or whatever, or ringing the local council and threatening to 'do something stupid'. That's what these suicide-y types are lacking: forward-thinking decisiveness. Amor fati and all that.