So I saw Clash of the Titans and it was

clunky, boring shite. As if an able-bodied and bum-faced Sam Worthington wasn’t enough to make you instantly flaccid as he plays a confused loaf of bread in sandals, the clumsy plot and limp-dick anticlimax are balls-shrivellingly awful. Add to that the overpriced eye-rape of a poorly-done 3D botch job and there you have it.